


But why did it hurt so much?

by DogeRainy



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dark, Depressing, Depression, Drowning, Gen, My First AO3 Post, Suicide, Warped worldview, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DogeRainy/pseuds/DogeRainy
Summary: If suicide triggers you, please don't read this.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 1





	But why did it hurt so much?

**Author's Note:**

> First public work, I've only shared this with one other person. Critiques on my prose would be much appreciated. 
> 
> (There might be weird word choices that I didn't catch. Wrote this at 1 a.m.)

The wind blasted fiercely against me as if to drive me back, away from the ledge. It came in bursts, almost pushing me to the ground. The sea churned beneath me as violent as my thoughts. My fingers flexed, hoping to drive the numb coldness away, to feel _something_. It didn't help, of course, nothing did anymore. Gravel crunched behind me, "What are you doing so close to the edge, buddy?" I didn't look at the newcomers, no need for them to see my face. "I heard that the sunset was beautiful here. I wanted to see it before I couldn't anymore." My voice was scratchy, too much screaming, probably. "How about you look at it with us. Any view is better with company." A hand grabbed mine, "Jesus, you're freezing!" The person tried to tug me away. I tore my hand out of theirs, my dry skin **hurt** , and oh how _**wonderful it felt.**_ "No need to worry. You **don't** have to care," I cleared my voice, hoping for it to help, it didn't. My voice came out as barely a whisper, "I already know **you** don't." The person staggered back as if burned. "Think about others, your parents or siblings, friends!" They were desperate, _pleading._  
I thought about them and _nothing._ My family and friends didn't care, why should they? They had their own problems, their own woes, "They don't care. **Nobody** cares." And with those last words, I stepped off. Screams were drowned out by rushing wind. It **hurt** when I hit the water. The breath was forced out of my lungs, and I accidentally took a gulp of water, the taste of salt bloomed on my tongue. I began to sink, the currents did toss me about a bit, but the farther down I went, the calmer it became. My lungs burned, pleading for me to _just take a breath._ The fear of knowing exactly what would happen if I did so almost stopped me. **Almost.** Water rushed in. Panic gripped my soul for a moment, but it quickly dissipated. In the dark, murky depths, I saw the faces of my family, they looked **happy.** I could almost hear their relief and laughter. I closed my eyes, hoping to escape the images. But all that I saw was my friends, _unbothered and content._ I **knew** that this would be the result, _**but why did it hurt so much?**_ The pain faded, the taste of salt faded, and **I** faded.


End file.
